Tuesday, June 17, 2008

BID Lab Freak Leak

Big News! A researcher named Nicolas Boole has revealed some details about the inner workings of the secretive BID Lab. What he has to say is fascinating, however we cannot guarantee the truth of these statements - Boole lost his job following a nervous breakdown;
"The Black Cloud is alive! ALIVE I TELL YOU! They say I've gone mad, but they haven't seen what I've seen!
Everyday this spring I'd been collecting data - can't tell you how... After talking to Black Cloud witnesses I got this funny feeling that I was being followed. I locked myself in my apartment. I had to keep that dirty cloud out, so I switched all the lights on, turned the heat all the way up, sealed all the windows and doors with tape and started cleaning the whole place with Clorox.
I was feeling sort of ill when I heard some bizarro stat1c sounds coming out 0f my laptop. I listened closer and it seemed l1ke I could hear words. It t0ld me to c0me cl0ser. I walked over and suddenly the Black Cloud was all around me, techn1c0l0r eyes staring into my soul. I was f1lled w1th a kind 0f electr1c1ty - I felt l1ke I c0uld do anyth1ng! Kn0w anyth1ng! Take 0ver the w000rld!"(original sighting
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BID Lab team leader Greg Niemeyer issued a brief statement;

"Mr. Boole was a genius but he was becoming impossible to work with so I had to let him go. He exhibited signs of megalomania - delusions that he had Godlike powers. We all wish him a speedy recovery."(official site)

A coworker, who requested to remain anonymous, said;
"Nick had become obsessed with Black Cloud data, studying the numbers collected from the sensors for days without sleeping. He suffered a major psychotic episode when asked to present his conclusions to the team, jumping up and down on the table shouting 'Me and Cloudy control you all!' Sheesh!"(original sighting)

Is there any truth to Boole's unbelievable statements? Did he catch some sort of Black Cloud Fever? Please post your observations to help clear this up!


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